I was born indifferent, used to see things indifferently. Then a time came when I felt I were not being treated fair by all of them around me. Anger arose and self destruction started. With the passage of time this feeling became steady, I got use to this.
A moment of realization came when I felt after being remained angry for a long period of time I had become victim of self crisis and biased person. These all reason made me the same I was hating since my first realization struck myself. Unawaring of, this time it was I who were unfair to others. Self-pity and self-hatred occupied more than enough space inside me. However I didn’t get rid of self-destruction.
Reality kept on fumbling. I knew that I was flowing in a wrong direction and that wasn’t real me. It was shift at 180 degree in an imbalance state of mind.
At last a time came when I felt , if people were unfair to me, I had done same to them at the same extent. At that moment me and war, against who is unfair, agreed to truce. All my worries got lighter and lighter. Accepting things is never easy.Things around and inside me start flowing towards a point of balanced state.
But still I am unable to see things completely as indifferent person. Perhaps I am under influenced by moments of varied realization.