“You’ve gotta meet the moments in a way that they must serve you to their full stretch. Live in present with a purpose which will set your place in future and also help you to integrate into it. But with keeping an eye on the past and not by living the past so that your every start and end do not get lost in a blink all the time “
I was born indifferent, used to see things indifferently. Then a time came when I felt I were not being treated fair by all of them around me. Anger arose and self destruction started. With the passage of time this feeling became steady, I got use to this.
A moment of realization came when I felt after being remained angry for a long period of time I had become victim of self crisis and biased person. These all reason made me the same I was hating since my first realization struck myself. Unawaring of, this time it was I who were unfair to others. Self-pity and self-hatred occupied more than enough space inside me. However I didn’t get rid of self-destruction.
Reality kept on fumbling. I knew that I was flowing in a wrong direction and that wasn’t real me. It was shift at 180 degree in an imbalance state of mind.
At last a time came when I felt , if people were unfair to me, I had done same to them at the same extent. At that moment me and war, against who is unfair, agreed to truce. All my worries got lighter and lighter. Accepting things is never easy.Things around and inside me start flowing towards a point of balanced state.
But still I am unable to see things completely as indifferent person. Perhaps I am under influenced by moments of varied realization.
I am the earth
I revolve around the sun
When I move, see things moving
Difference between day and night just belongs to me
It is my thing
Reaping sorrow or reaping joy, all depend on me
And the sun…….
Sun is always there standing still and shining,
Standing strong and stagnant
Taking utmost care of me, the earth, with his full strength
There is no such thing like dark and light, black or white exist for him
It is solely my concept
Because I am earth
I move around the sun.
(Excerpt from “Forgotten Diary”)
I saw it
I did scare
that evil !
I tried to run
but I followed by
and got down.
In fear and hate
from head to toe
of course an act un-genuinley
not to unravel the mystery
but to get rid myself
because its no me
because its was derivative.
I did unmask the hide
but how pathetic it was
in the misty feel of success and proud
with full bloom and naked
perhaps the first time
I was seeing eye to eye
non other than me and only me.
Nothing cracked, nothing broke
I was fragile but no more
should I celebrate or hide?
From that day I am
trying to accept
We,when get happy see world happy. We say sometimes the things we must not in times of distress. But We do ……?…… when we feel nothing. Yes! we don’t even bother to fill this blank which actually matters more than anything else don’t we?.
Most of the time in a day our mind remain cloudy with emotions. One moment we are saying “for you i will go around the world in 80 days” because we are feeling great but few moments later we don’t even bring a glass of water for the same person just because we are feeling bad??
So please don’t use overly the word CARE. Its too complex , actually its the only thing we should care for. Care is something which must be beyond from your mood , your thoughts, emotion etc. Care doesn’t even pertain to words its a sort of DO things , just like you have a built in power for it, it doesn’t matter whatever your condition is, which removes all the barriers of mood,emotion blah blah.
Yes! we overuse this word. Look around! you will see. But actually we stop caring for him/her when we start saying this. I know sometimes we have to tell other that we cared for him/her but sorry to say some things are not made for the words. Its not a TELL thing its a REALIZE thing.
Why don’t we realize that care for the pet and care for the human in not the same. You have to omit yourself for the moments, let your lover to make mistake either its your sis, mom or friend regardless of the knowledge you know he/she is about to do wrong as she/he is so keen on doing that thing, you have to walk with him on that dirty roads to the other corners of it just because she wants to see what lies on other side and after finding nothing…. ” Hey! don’t lost your smile”.
and after seeing him/her in the weirdo form you feel more warmth in your heart than ever before. As you accepting oneself as a whole with good and bad.
Let our beloved to do and say their things freely. Don’t rain over them your so called ego filled boundaries by just saying” ITS JUST BECAUSE I CARE FOR YOU” eh!! naa!!
After doing that I don’t think there is a space for the word CARE:)
When it was asked ” why this life is so bitter in its taste and painful most of the time?”
Then the answer came” So the concept or thought of leaving this world would not be more painful to you or you may get too fond of thought “it is your last stop which it is not actually”.
and when it was again asked” why treasures sit at the heart of the mountains , laying unmapped beneath the surface, sleep into the depths of the oceans, its mind boggling and full of mysteries….why? “
” they are waiting for, who has the capability to cut the mountain, has courage to conquer the sea and the earth and has the hunger to solve the mysteries for truth “THE TRUE FINDER” . And the matter of fact is” People don’t observe things laying in front of them”.
“Give me the piece of advice I want to put in my pocket all my life.”
“Don’t reject anyone’s statement.But you can only excuse this for having this as if it is impossible to bend yourself at the same angle every time with which people are living around us”
I found whenever i observed NATURE the most honest thing of this universe except the humans when they behave unnaturally or under influence. Whenever I sad I want to watch the drowning sun I know after this I will be like I have shared my burden with someone else. Whenever I am happy I want to feel the sunlight on skin, the warmth of it has the power to double my happiness as if it understands I am happy now. I want to design things I use to run non other than, in first, but over it for inspirations and if i forget to, Nature itself poke me “look at me I am their to help”. The flowers ,insects, soil, air wood, a child run (how passionately she take up steps), birds, water etc too many to mention.
Rain make me hollow and autumnal color of leaves give me the essence as if I have said goodbye to someone I am too in love. Every time I tried intentionally or unintentionally it did and now i am familiar and use to it. Hence I am not amazed now that how people quickly inspired by it and produce the master piece “DEFFODILS”. Its full of energy or I should say I am surrounded by energy waiting for me to share my part with me.
No offence my friends, my dearest, nearest but its the truth every one has to leave ,to make separate way one day and its inevitable. But It is the only thing I believe the most. It never deceived me never broken my trust, it took me years to understand and build on it and really it never left me helpless. It always there to help, give me some space to share, urge me to see one more dream and understanding of my self and problems I face for the betterment.
when I were child I used to took swings from trees branches, I broke and made things, dirty my hands & clothes in mud, didn’t cared who was eyeing on me, lay on grass as if it my bed, use to ate fruit and sew its seeds so when it would grow up I would say and forbade “look I have grown it up and don’t dare to touch its my piece of greenery, my property”. All my sorrows and joys were use to happen on its peak.
When we be child we are more passionate, more creative, more sensitive, more natural and more artistic. So childrens are the purest form of human being. Sometimes it rings clearly in my mind that i remember everything but only one thing forget that
“NATURE IS ART AND I AM NATURE”
Rehmat was a gentleman. He had the dreams like the every young ambitious man could have. To fulfill those he did put every bit of his energy in pursuit of his dreams. He was outstanding in managing things or being a brilliant connector of the dots, I should say more appropriately, he became popular among his folks but use to remain lost in his world.
His success graph was enough to show how comprehensively he ruled out every peer in the so called race of world. He was happy, up to mark and maybe contented because he was smart enough to fill the appetite he felt everyday inside. It was 1961 and it had been 2 years to him to work for STRAIGHTFILL COMPANY in Lahore.
But this world has some rules and we all know how great teacher has been this world to us and one of its rule when you accomplish one level, you have to go for another regardless you want it or not, circle has to break and there are lessons and lessons waiting for you until you die. Now its you who will decide, you want to understand, communicate, walk ,run with life or may you screw up the relations, being dragged or be the bad student of life?.
So what happened, Rehmat vanished from the city one day. No body knew what happened and where did he go. It was 1964 then. It had been 3 years sine the questions sprung up in his mind.
The year 1997 was just another year to Taalib, working as library assistant in Summar Library Gujrat, reading books and, evening walk addiction and tea cups. Being a university student was his dreams but there was neither a university in Gujrat nor he could afford studying outside city.
One day Taalib had to go as Summar Library agent to meet a community, working for libraries. Summar library ran by community funds like many others at that time. After the meet up he was walking in silence on the roads of city Jhang in evening when he saw a Grey haired man standing still near the logs, face up towards the tree leaves as he was listening the unusual. His body language was revealing his humbleness and his eyes had a strange spark. The next moment Taalib was standing right next to the stranger.
Without formal greeting he asked, “what you are observing?.
“I am not observing I am feeling the presence of what surrounds me as you feel first and know later” old man replied.
The old man offered the water from the pitcher placed near the tree on a rug. Taalib accepted and they sat together on the rug. After a query the old man told that he didn’t live there and actually he never dwelt anywhere for a long time he just did stops where he found the answers and then moved on. “ Horizons my destination, sky the roof and earth the bed. Touching the endless is impossible I knew but how much you walk on is sole salvation thing”.
It was pitch black dark and silence everywhere. But in the still of the night they didn’t even move for a while then old man stood up and lit up the fire.
“Do you live nearby?”.
“Me too don’t believe on living to particular one or belong to any single place” Taalib replied
it was the first time the old man smiled and he sat back again on the rug.He told about his journey and when he finished it was midnight but Taalib still wanted to hear some more. He continued speaking and revealed the finding it took him to decades to find which just stunned the Taalib that he forgot to breathe. Yes it was something, something worth of spending decades over it, hidden and unsolved until who belongs to it don’t find.
Taalib not only became wordless but also surprised that the old man whose name even he didn’t know presented and explained his jewels , his rubies of life time ,the solved mysteries to him just in a single night.
“Now you have found what you wanted to , task accomplished what will you do know” Taalib asked in surprise.
“No! journey can never find the full stop as one finding is just the part of the other unfind or unfold” he replied .“the most generous act to me is not donating your money , forgiving others or be patient but to sharing others your life time findings, searches, ideas, formula, techniques etc for the sole benefits of them.”
after observing Taalib surprise he revealed.” After all the suffering ,miseries , pain , patient all that stuff you find, something of worth that can bring some comfort and satisfaction in his life and he don’t contain the blessing to him but share wholly with others who else can be more generous than him”
For hours they both remained silent. The old man was sitting with his eyes closed and Taalib was feeling like the man whose world has just blown away, he was speechless.
Near dawn the old man just stand up and start walking away Taalib follow him, actually he wanted to become his followers for all his life but the old man forbade him.
“I am a free man and i want to see every body like this. I don’t believe in follow-ship because it has the eyes of a dead man and is an enemy of purity or genuine. The only thing we could do take the good thing then do our part which means improvise , create something new ,accomplish the level and share it to smoothen the road for others for new finding. There are two kinds of people you usually observe one who never dare to create and other who has the power to change things or create but what they do they produce unbroken chain of their followers.
You must have become the third one who has not only the power to change himself but when they share the findings, his life time rubies, they along with this sharing transfer the part of their change to transferee so he can at least improvise it and then unbroken chain of new ideas and leadership starts.
Don’t spoil the freedom of others by making them followers. Show them the right part of being human, being different.
It was all the old man has to say and then he started walking until Rehmat disappear from Taalib sight.
Taalib now a days run a publishing house in Multan. He travel a lot in search of new ideas , new findings and different people to publish and smoothen the way of unborn ideas.
So here is one more story about a man who has received recognition of PLAYER OF MILLENNUM, to him “TIME MAGZINE” has called “ASIAN HERO” of that time, London Metropolitan University has awarded him honorary Doctorate of Philosophy for his unmatched contribution towards sports, on whom Stuart J. Sharp (a Melton based producer), who is famous for telling world the greatest sporting stories, had given a tribute in his film “THE CONQUEROR”.
Krisalis Software Ltd. in 1991 released a video game over him.
Government of Pakistan has awarded him PRIDE OF PERFORMANCE and civil award HILAL-E-IMTAIZ for his untiring achievements in his field.
Yes! I am talking about the Jahangir Khan the youngest ever World Amateur Squash Champion aged just 15-years-old and the youngest World Professional Squash Champion in history at 17.
His fate had decided him as unique squash player when people around him ceased to believe him so, as he had HERNIA problem from the age of 5 , couldn’t speak and listen as normal person and he was so skinny but he himself decided to be a professional squash player when his elder brother TORSAM KHAN, who reached in his career at spot 13 of world ranking, died during a match in Australia due to heart attack at spot.
Torsam Khan was his inspiration and his true friend he also remained as his unofficial coach from childhood when they used to play squash and kept it hidden as their father had disallowed Jahangir not to play because of his heath problems. He had also undergone through surgeries at the age of 8 and 12 .Torsam sudden death turned him upside down. He got determined to fulfill the dreams once his brother had seen.
So there came the true warrior, once started he never turned his back. His father even refused to coach him due to his elder son death but his cousin and also close friend of Torsam, Rehmat Khan, decided to train that sick and physically weak child.
In Jahangir unbeaten reign
- He won record winning 6 WORLD OPEN squash titles (First at the age of 17)
- 10 successive record winning BRITISH OPEN.
- And he was remaining unbeaten for 555 consecutive matches amazing! A longest winning streak ever did by any athlete in the history of sporting world during the span of 5 and half years.
At one stage JHANGIR after winning 5 consecutives world titles lost to Newzealand player Ross Norman but he came back again to win his sixth title of world championship.
Stuart J Sharp talked to Soar Magazine about the story of how the film was made, starting with a chance meeting with Jahangir.
“I first met Jahangir sometime in the 70′s. Purely by chance, I saw him training with Rahmat Khan at the Wembley Squash Centre and was immediately struck with his incredible power and precision. He must have been all of 9 stone wet through and just a teenager. I saw a world champion in the making.
In end , I might have to born several times to write a blog about a sportsman like Jahangir Khan
On my roof top watching sun fades away, bird’s flocks, busy roads, bustling people; almost everybody is going home with lots of stories buried in them which took birth in a single day and end with it. It is late afternoon. Some are happy and some are sad, some succeed some failed, some built some broke but one thing is obvious everyone is on the verge of something, something they concluded from this day and no doubt everybody is tired.
One more day is about to be a memory. This particular time always has strangeness in it, unnamed feelings which are so light and pure like falling snowflakes. Time gets slow, so slow that I can feel every single moment passing away, can hear every single sound of clock when it ticks. As if i am watching my life in a slow motion. Then I feel my self floating away, up into sky like air balloon.
With every sun rise i join again my journey, mind stuffed with uncountable things, unaware of what is going into surroundings. Actually I don’t even want to be aware at that time. And now by the end of it when I feel like I am up, up to carry on. It is the first time I lift my eye towards the endless blue sky filled with kites and birds, towards trees bathed with golden sunlight, careless breeze dancing with eyes closed. I then able to find an empty space for my mind to think what is just mine, only what I like as that I am free absolutely, color every thing I see of my choice as if time is my slave and not I am of it. Beyond all barriersJ.Yes for a moment before its start a moment with a thought hit my mind “Don’t over fantasize it” but I can’t resist as if I am after some missing pieces, sort of reality pictured in its beauty with a huge “WHY” why we think reality is always bitter??.
Then I think about my life in a whole single loop and quit observing it in parts, parts with good and bad stickers on it, just like a 90 minutes movie without intermission. Good time shines after bad one and then again we have to suffer bad to pick the good one and there come some chapters of life in-between these two. What if one gets entangle for all his time in a single unit of life. Of course it is to much agonizing.
For me it’s the time of the times, a compelling one always and I am addicted to it which always persuade me to lift up the banner” Everything gonna be fine” good,bad,good,bad isn’t life but these are unites that makes a life complete and proper.